apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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