You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
