Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
