I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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