Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
