i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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