She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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