I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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