When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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