I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize