dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is it penis luge time yet?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
