The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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