We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
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I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Enjoy the penises
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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