I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
