Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
