You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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