So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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