It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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