Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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