dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
