you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
