dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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