I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
