WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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