I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize