She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
