My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
