i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
