She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My life is pants optional.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
