okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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