oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
