filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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