Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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