I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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