Don't you send me to vm
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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