plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
