Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
