my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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