Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
