Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
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Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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