question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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