thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
