Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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