He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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