This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize