You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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