how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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