I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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