Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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