Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
