Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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