Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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