worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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