the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
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I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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