Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
